Deseret News | In defense of sister missionaries – McKay Coppins on MormonTimes.com

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In defense of sister missionaries – McKay Coppins on MormonTimes.com

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Hans Dieter Schulte | 4:08 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

When I read this initial blurb of sisters not being useful in the field, I had to check from whence the comments came.....obviously out of Utah where there are too many hands to go around. I can tell you if it wasn't for the sisters that taught and helped me understand the finer details of the Gospel, South Africa would be one faithful LDS member short.

As a dad of 3 daughters it frustrates me to read this kind of junk in the 21st century and after all we have been taught and know about our potential and the divine appointed position of women. Lets deal with real stuff guys.

SimonSays | 6:32 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

A few years ago during an interview with Elder Scott of the Twelve, he asked me if there were any sister in the ward who may be elible to serve a full time mission. He asked me as bishop to encourage them to serve missions. His words were in effect, "The Church needs sister missionaries." I saw first hand on mission how effective sisters were. I had 6 sisters in my zone, and was nicknamed the "RS Pres" by some, but week in and weeek out the best stats were always from one of those sister companionships. As a bishop I saw was again aw how effective sister were. When the Mission Pres replaced the sisters with elders, the work almost stopped. My wife put off mission plans to marry me when we met - not complaining, but she would have been an awesome missionary. If you are able and have a desire, and have no plans to be married - go, The Church needs good sister missionaries.

Sister Missionaries... | 6:40 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

serve an important roll in missionary work. I'm glad they are out there. When Bro. Coppins says "and the rest of us are expected to encourage them" I hope he means encourage them to pray and make there own decision not encourage them to go on a mission. To me that would be very similar to pressuring them to go even if they think they shouldn't. It is up to the sister to make that important decision. I encourage the young sisters to pray and decide.

Comments continue below

me | 7:32 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

AMEN, Mr. Schulte! Teach your daughters that ANY "r.m." that would "roll their eyes" at the need or usefulness of sister missionaries is simply NOT worthy of her!!!! In the end, that kind of attitude can be VERY helpful in determining the quality of that "r.m.".....many are called, but few are chosen!

Yes to Sisters | 7:55 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I say every young woman should prepare to serve a mission. If she gets married she will still be better for having prepared. Then, my Mother served, my Wife served, and I have two daughters who have served. I've seen first hand how the depth of spiritual understand and preparation for life's challenges gained by sister missionaries helps ladies throughout their lifes. I say yes, prepare and yes serve if inspired to do so.

EM | 8:22 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

It's too bad that the sisters have to wait till they're 21. The maturity of sisters is way higher than 19 year boys, and they are certainly better prepared than mommies boys.

suzyk | 8:28 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

To: "me". I liked your comments..you hit the nail on the head. Good for you

David J. Burt | 8:35 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I married one of those sister missionaries because she was so hardworking, spiritual, loving, and cute. We raised a daughter who said her whole life she was going on a mission but at age 21 prayed and decided it wasn't what she was supposed to do-yet. A young man trying to talk a sister out of serving a mission is wrong, unless he is seriously proposing. I've watched sister missionaries work in my ward over the years and I am amazed at their capacity to teach and love the people they work with. It is a love that I feel is far greater than that of the Elders. That is not an insult to the elders, but a simple statement of my observations.

President Benson served his mission, came home just as his future wife was leaving on hers. For 3-1/2 years they wrote each other and then got married.

Ted Buzis | 8:36 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

What a great privilege to understand how well sister missionaries complement this great work and wonder. I´m very thankful for a companionship of sister missionaries who took the time and patience to teach me in 1984. Sister Rider and Sister Hinton have touched my life in a manner that has made me the man I am today. I´m eternally grateful for the beautiful spirit and teachings they gifted me with. I have since lost contact with them but will NEVER forget them. Let me also tell you that I had the privilege of serving with some of the best sister missionaries in the world in the Guatemala Quetzaltenango Mission from 1986-1988. They were the greatest and most spiritual sisters I have known and they customarily baptized more than any companionship of Elders. They brought such a sweet and tender spirit to a nation in need of the gospel and were very successful. I´m very thankful for you sister missionaries and I can sincerely say that I LOVE AND RESPECT you with all my heart. Thank you for being such an important part to our lives and we will be forever grateful.

Pray for guidance | 8:51 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

My wife didn't serve a full-time mission, but she did serve with me as a Stake Missionary in Washington, DC. At that time Stake Missionaries were teaching missionaries. We had more member referrals than the full time Elders in the Washington Ward, because we lived there and knew the people.

All sisters who are interested in a mission should pray for guidance of the Spirit. Boys should pray for guidance, too. Missionaries are called by the Lord, and a mission isn't something that a girl or a boy should automatically do without a confirmation of the Spirit.

RM Eye Rolling? | 8:58 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Only from Elders unable to admit that Sister missionaries can do a much better job than they can! Age and maturity contribute to that, but Sister missionaries can open doors and reach people Elders cannot.

And to echo previous statements, a man unwilling to wait 18 months for a mission is not worth marrying!

So glad I went! | 9:12 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I decided to serve a mission when I was 14. As soon as I could put in my papers. I left 1 week after I turned 21. I am married to a wonderful man who I am sure wouldn't have wanted what I was before my mission. The growth I made there and the confidence I gained were amazing. Going on a mission was the single most important decision I have ever made in my life. There was one elder who was a jerk... but the rest were great. I didn't whine, fight with my comps or even let the elders carry my luggage - I was directed by my brother on that one! I'm sure they would have. Nevertheless... my mission was incredible and I hope my daughter who is 12 goes. I have 2 sons in the field now and it is amazing to watch them grow!

Anonymous | 9:29 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

"It's no secret that there is a cultural perception among some in our church that sisters are just on missions because they couldn't get married and they provide no real benefit to the missionary program."

And that is one reason why doing things out of "culture" and "tradition" has no place in the LDS Church. Other religions can pull it off, and that's fine, but it necessarily backfires in the Lord's Church if it's not done the Lord's way.

That's not a potshot, it's just what actually happens.

Sister RM | 9:38 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Thanks for your blog. I always hated hearing that when I was preparing to go on a mission. While I may be biased, I must agree that sisters have a definite place in the mission field (and I don't mean the mission office!). Sure there are some who don't belong there or are there for the wrong reason but really, there are elders like that too. From my experience the majority of sisters are serving missions because of a genuine desire. What a wonderful feeling is was to decide for myself that I wanted to serve without feeling any pressure of being expected to go. Best wishes to your sister as she embarks on her mission journey.

Larry Beck | 9:42 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I am an adult convert who joined the Church "too late" and so I couldn't serve a mission. My wife is a RM and I am forever grateful that I married a sister missionary! Sister Missionaries rock! My wife's MIssion President said that he'd rather have 98 Sister Missionaries and 2 Elders to baptize!

My son, a recent RM, is dating a girl who is putting in her papers next month. And he is 100% supportive of her serving a mission and is very careful not to distract her. He'd rather wait 18 months than derail her plans to serve a mission.

Bishop Brown | 9:48 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

If given the choice between two sister missionaries or four elders, I'd take the sisters. They are more mature, more focused, and in some cases more in touch with the spirit. Their presence can usually calm a frustrated person more quickly than others. They are choice spirits I charished every sister missionary who ever served in my Ward. This is not taking away from the Elders whom I love equally well. The sisters are just special and are always a welcome site. As for you retired folks sitting around Utah and Idaho we need you out here desperately. Please come out on missions, your service is vital and we need the help out here.

Dave M | 9:51 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

The sister missionaries need no defense. Their results speak for them.

JanSan | 9:53 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Hey thanks to the article and comments. I served a mission and to my surprise ran into not only Elders who opposed Sister's but also a Bishop! What a shocker that was..
To those who think that only the "sweet spirit" girls go on missions I want to state that my first companion was "Home Coming Queen" for her high school. Also there were several really pretty girls in my mission.
I shut up one Elder who was known as knocking Sister Missionaries by reminding him that I had received my Mission call from the same Prophet of God that he had!
I know that it is petty but somethimes it hurts when you hear a speaker talk about how great the Elder missionaries are and not say anything about the Sisters.. I think for most people they just roll all missionaries into one and name them Elders.
Anyway.. from a returned Sister Missionary.. Thank You!!!

Love sisters | 10:13 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Sister missionaries are amazing! After about 11 years of not having sisters in our ward here in Texas, we finally got them and boom! Our baptisms started to happen. Sisters are much more personal and know how to connect with people. They do extra little things that touch people's hearts. They have ways of drawing people in that elders (I love them also)don't usually have. As a new member in our ward put it, "alot of the elders act like robots". This has made me want to prepare my son better for his mission. I want him to learn how to be sensitive and caring for people, to reach out, to connect better with others. That's a big job in a boy world filled with things that train boys to be robots (like constant video games, etc.)

jumanji | 10:26 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

It's very interesting that McKay should choose this topic. Last week in Elder's Qorum, the bishop came and encouraged the Elders with daughters to serve a mission if they "were of age, not in a committed relationship and were not currently seeking an education". I thought his comments were a little old fashion, but maybe the Church still takes this position.

Oakley | 10:28 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I guess my experience in the mission field was a little different than the author of this article. Most of the sisters in my mission were complete basket cases and were ill-equiped to handle the day to day stress a mission brings.

The Duece | 10:29 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Sister Missionaries all have "special spirits".

Shocked | 10:31 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I am shocked that a Mission President would mute the General Auxillary Leaders. I hope that we as members are not doing that. They have wonderful testimonies, and it is sad to have read that. I say prepare to be a missionary, no matter what, if you are married and don't "go"; you will still have opprotunity to share the gospel. The Elders and Sisters are looking to members #1 on their list of ways to find people to teach. Elder Bednar gave a wonderful quote about who are the fulltime finders and who are the fulltime teachers. We as members need to shape ourselves to help build the kingdom, outside of 2 years of service. I know I can do better. I also think we need to rethink the whole RM business, there are a lot of great young men and women who for whatever reason can not serve a fulltime mission. They are no less worthy than another of a date or a temple marriage. Marriage or Mission, if done right both are honorable for men and women.

Mormon Scholar | 10:32 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Here's a question for everyone out there. Why is it Church policy that a woman has to be at least 21 years old before she can go on a mission?

I know the answer, but I want to see if anyone out there also knows it.

One Sister's Story | 10:40 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

This hits a little close to home for me, due to Multiple Sclerosis (MS) that I developed on my mission. I am convinced that either the immunizations or broad exposure to a large diversity of people from Europe infected me with an MS-triggering agent. In other words, I may very well not have MS today had it not been for my Mormon mission.

I recall walking down one of the cobblestone streets, but something was wrong. My eye hurt, and everything in the lower half of my vision was heavily distorted. After a painful examination by an ophthalmologist, he concluded that I had Optic Neuritis (a cardinal initial symptom of MS) as the cause.

Everything subsided with time, and several missionaries suspected that I was lying in order to get out of having to proselyte while I went to the doctor to figure out why I was apparently losing my vision. The Optic Neuritis subsided for the next year; all I had was some numbness in my leg later on in my mission.

It hurt me to have the Elder's judge me as lazy and not motivated. It was MS, not laziness.

What Century? | 10:41 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I served mission in LA California from 1968-1970 the sister missionaries I in the California Mission were highly dedicated dynamic teachers. One was a young women recently widowed as her husband was killed in military service. Only those living in the dark ages would have such a strange perception. Sister missionaries have been a blessing to the work - their compassionate caring of others generated true converts, not just baptisms. As an educator I see many of my High School young women with a passionate desire to serve and be righteous - I wish I could say the same of the young men who seem distracted by the world. We should rejoice anyone who is willing to dedicate their time, talents, and energy to the Lord.

Robert Ruff

I Came, I Saw, I Served | 10:45 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Brother Coppins wrote,

"And, of course, sexism plays a role. Whether it was learned before the mission or during it -- an old roommate said that when he watched general conference at the mission home, his mission president would mute the TV during the sisters' talks so that he could share his insights -- many guys believe that because missionary work is primarily a priesthood responsibility, women should take no part in it."

How true, and how sad it is that in the Restored Gospel these attitudes and beliefs still linger. Thank you Brother Coppins for drawing attention to it.

RM Brasil | 10:46 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

There was a survey some years ago that determined that there was an inequality in many LDS marriages, i.e. males were more experienced and mature than their female counterparts due to the fact males had served missions. The mission had exposed them to the world and variety of people etc. The female often had no experience outside the home or perhaps college, this led to a lack of balance in the relationship and too many times contributed to tension and some divorce. Women who had served missions married to males who had served missions had a more equal relationship and had a better chance of success in the marriage. Unfortunately this survey was not widely known or accepted and women were still encouraged to choose marriage over mission.

Sister Hernandez | 10:58 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I am in the long slow process of leaving the church. I think I can pinpoint my mission as the start of my disillusionment. One of the topics that has been eating away at me is how I and the other sisters were treated on my mission. Here are few items that are truly tormenting me right now. Writing down what I feel is my only therapy right now.

My mission was run by numbers. We were constantly quoted that “as long as the convert puts out their cigarette on the way down to the water, they are worthy”. The Elder's treated us like we were dead weight and one of my companions had a serious health problem, she was told to proselytize more and her faith would heal her. She later was sent home for medical reasons.

I baptized around 75 (see I can still remember numbers) people on my mission and only two were still active when I went home from my mission. Why did I not see what was going on?

Sister RM too | 11:05 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

FYI: President Benson's wife Flora waited for him while he served a mission. He returned home and she annnounced she now planned to serve. He waited for her and the rest is history! I think President Benson would agree that she was worth the wait and that her mission experience enhanced their relationship and helped their future family.

I disagree | 11:07 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I disagree with the premise that there is cultural bias against women serving missions. In fact, when I was at BYU and elsewhere (outside Utah) there seemed to be an assumption that a 21-year-old unmarried women ought to serve a mission. I have heard of men who claim they will not marry a woman who has not served a mission. That is just plain wrong! Women are not under the same obligation to serve a mission as men and should not be pressured to do so. If they do, great. If they don't, great.

D&C 132 | 11:08 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Women certainly are an integral part of the Church. If you don't believe me, just read me.

Oxy Mormon | 11:09 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Good article, McKay. This just proves that you can write good articles as long as you stay away from the gay marriage debate.

Pusan Korea Mission, 1996 | 11:18 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I was engaged to the man I still love and am married to. I was thinking about going on a mission while he was also going, but for different reasons I decided not to go. Then the stakepresidents councilor came to our branch and talked to me. He wouldn´t take no for an answer. And I was young and not very selfconfident.

So I went. I worked as hard as possible, but never felt good enough. I was depressed many times, still working any way.I lost weight, and I didn´t need to at all. I felt suffocated of not being allowed to leave my companions side and not being allowed to read other books than the scriptures and Jesus the Christ.

My future husband and I had used up all our money that we had worked for ourselves for the mission. When we got married 3 weeks after I got home. We only had the money for a 20$ wedding-rings. I still hold alot of hurt and anger towards my mission and how I was treated.

Anonymous | 12:31 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Sister missionaries are indispensable if the Church wants to convert young men!

former sis. missionary | 12:58 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I served a mission at 21. I could say all the same things about all of the young immature elders I saw. SOme were great some were not. Same with the sisters, some were fantastic some were not. You cant base it on stereotype, it all had to do with that particular person. One thing I do not care about, and didn't then were dumb boys who did not want to marry Returned sisters. Who would want to live with a husband who though so poorly and narrowly of women and a future wife as that? My husband wanted a returned sister so that she loved the church as much as he. so that she could teach his children to love is also. For all men who think in such a distorted way....you really are missing out.

Sister Missionary Dad | 1:20 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

My daughter is currently a sister missionary in Sicily. She is having a great time and has had innumerable wonderful experiences.

Go sister missionaries!!!

kobalt | 1:29 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I agree with "me". Sister missionaries have their place in the field. Returned male missionaries who discredit their worth are not worthy of the young woman's attention. I feel that part of the reason for young men leaving at a younger age is that they will gain a personal growth that they need at that age, while the young women are typically in less need of that lesson. 19 year-old men are of more use in the mission field than in a marriage, and can usually benefit from the "extra boost". Sister missionaries need no defense.

M. Patterson | 1:44 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Sister missionaries made my own mission much more enjoyable. Especially the MTC experience.

Sis. Missionary mom | 2:01 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Our daughter served a mission seven years ago and I could not beleive in this day and age how many people tried to discourage her from going. Not just friends, but grandparents, bishops, and ward members. Many times the comments were, "You are too cute to go on a mission!" or "You have to much going for you!" It just fired her up more to want to serve. And yes she did! Her mission was very successful in many ways. My husband was one of those "Elders" who didn't like dealing with sister missionaires and even now he very rarely listens to the women speak at general conference, but he has learned from his daughter that Sister missionaries are great if you just look at them as servants to the lord, not anything else.
And when we sent her off at the airport with all the other missionaries we learned first hand that sisters gon't go on missions just because they aren't "cute". Have you seen these sisters lately????????

cat out of the bag | 2:06 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

"....his mission president would mute the TV during the sisters' talks so that he could share his insights."

This was so appalling to read.

But there are is at least one former bishop, one former stake president and one former Temple president(of an obscure, small temple) I personally know who feel THEY were the ones in Charge in this Church. Not the Prophet, not the Apostles, certainly not the Savior, but them.

Still, it is sad to learn that there is a mission president out there who is so full of himself, and a sanctimonious terribly poor example to the elders under his care.

(wonder what his wife thought of his "Conference expurgation"?)

A Man's Perspective | 2:26 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I have lived in good old SLC for about 38 years. I have never heard such a bias against Sister missionaries anywhere near what is claimed in this article. Maybe I just have managed to miss it all, but all my life, with only a few extremely rare exceptions, have I heard nothing but praise for Sister missionaries. In fact, I have usually heard some "pot shots" thrown at the Elders and then the inevitable praise for Sister missionaries above the Elders.

If I am wrong, and there really is a bias against the Sister missionaries, then it needs to quit immediately.

sa | 2:30 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

I went on a mission and now I have daughters that I wish would go on missions. My daughters can't keep the boys away from them and were married in their teens.

I rarely see the bias | 3:08 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

It seems to me that the bias against sister missionaries is mostly a thing of the past. For the most part I hear great things about sister missionaries. My wife served a mission because she wanted to, not because she was pressured into it nor because she couldn't have gotten married. I am grateful for her dedicated service and how that has blessed our marriage.

One of my sisters got married instead of going on a mission and that's just fine too. It's a personal decision.

Concerned Sister | 3:17 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Anyone who is stating that there is no bias towards sister missionaries has NOT been on a mission.

Wrong Path | 3:29 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

The bias against sisters serving missionaries is NOT because they won't be successful missionaries, but because it removes them from the marriage pool. No doubt, there are specific stories of some meeting their spouses, but if it delays/prevents marriage and the most important goal of building families, it introduces risk.

Stewie | 3:35 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

D&C 132 | 11:08 a.m. Oct. 30, 2009 :

"Women certainly are an integral part of the Church. If you don't believe me, just read me."

Very funny. I get it.

Anonymous | 3:54 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

sa | 2:30 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009 wrote,

"I went on a mission and now I have daughters that I wish would go on missions. My daughters can't keep the boys away from them and were married in their teens."

I'm shocked. What you described doesn't happen very often in Utah.

Michael | 4:20 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Okay, call me old fashioned but I have four daughters and I will never encourage them to serve missions. If they choose to then great, but it is my belief that with school and a mission by the time a woman is done just with undergrad work she will be in her mid 20s. Most guys who get off missions aim at the 19 and 20 year olds for dating and marriage. Also, with the singles program the way it is (age segregated) then many mid-20 aged women find they are too old for the dating scene in singles wards and (since 30-somethings cannot participate in mixed activities) there are few dating prospects.

I disagree with I disagree | 4:27 p.m. Oct. 30, 2009

Technically, men aren't under an obligation to serve a mission either, but culture dictates that if a man doesn't serve a mission, he is not worthy and women should not consider them for marriage. That said, honestly, I think I'd rather be obligated to serve than coerced.

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